CCChat April 2025.pdf - Flipbook - Page 26
The second one. My parents love
Every time something goes wrong the child
me, it’s me that’s faulty.
thinks it’s because they’ve done something
and that’s what it looks like, because the
Yeah. You don’t want to think that
person who is abusing them will be picking
the person that is holding you and
on something that they’ve done – you
providing for you and is your support
didn’t do this right, you didn’t do that right,
person, actually wants to harm you or
I was in a good mood until you did this.
see you destroyed in some way, you’d
rather think you can control it by being
You’re the only one who can bring
what that person wants you to be. If
out my bad side, no one else can.
you were everything that that person
wanted and you did everything right
That’s absolutely right. God, what’s wrong
then, potentially, you could win them
with you? Why did you make me do this to
over. You could make them love you.
you? It’s that sense of how could you do
this? Why could you do this to me? So
It sets up this idea and it is really a
these kids feel so terrible about themselves
neural network, a pathway that
– they think that they’re faulty, they’re
develops, that they need to keep
flawed, shameful. They’ve been humiliated
working to get love. Even abusive
by their parent and so they will try and do
people are not always horrible, people
everything that is the opposite to that,
aren’t black and white and usually do
to try and win their parent over.
have good things about them and
they’ll be in a good mood at times and
