CCChat April 2025.pdf - Flipbook - Page 28
This is exactly what parents do as well,
When women I see tell me they’ve been
when they’re abusive, don’t show anger
called certain things, I think how can
and if you do show anger, the violence
anyone say that to you? You’re the nicest
will be worse. That’s why you will find that
person but in their mind they are
these kids will never get angry. They won’t
disgusting, there’s an absolute self-
be angry at their parents and they won’t
loathing. I find it really hard to grapple
be angry at their abuser because there’s
with the hatred that people can have for
no one that can hate them more than
themselves.
they already hate themselves and that’s
really, really important because what
When you’ve got someone who hates
we find offensive when we hear
themselves so much, it makes it really
someone saying something nasty to
easy for people to abuse them and for
another person is that that person is a
them to not even see it because, to them,
human being, we are compassionate.
it is true. Yes, I am disgusting but I’m trying
to do things differently.
We look at another human being as a
person and we see them as a human, but
So what happens is that they’ve done
when they see themselves as beneath
the love bombing intoxicated the person
that, as garbage, then when someone is
that thinks that person is going to be a
saying those things to them, it’s not really
safe haven, this person is going to take
that insulting to them, because it’s
care of me – this is all true –this is what
actually how they view themselves.They
love looks like and they are excited about
don’t look at it with abhorrence, the way I
it. They’re feeling, finally, something
might look at it when they tell me they’re
positive about themselves. But that cycle
being called certain things.
only lasts for a little bit and then they
isolate the person, humiliate, just as a
reminder that it’s not that secure.
