CCChat April 2025.pdf - Flipbook - Page 34
The reason you want it or crave it is a
safety thing and may reflect you feeling
anxious or unsafe then that may be
why you dream of it, to give you that
little moment of not feeling unsafe. It
might also mean nothing, just your
body remembering an old feeling and
really nothing, definitely nothing to be
ashamed of. You can’t control your
dreams, if you could then you would.
Why would you want to dream of this
guy and what a disappointment to
wake up and to be thinking about him,
how horrible, so again you can’t blame
yourself for these hormonal feelings
and what your body just does.
I just think it’s awful how many women are
so filled with shame when they are the
ones that really should be celebrated
for being able to survive something
like that, and to come out the other
end and still live to tell the tale because
it is so dangerous to be a child who is
abused that way and it could be so easy
to turn into an awful person, but
people like you are kind and want to
help other people and that’s testimony
to your human spirit, isn’t it?
I think there’s a societal need to
judge. People are judging the whole
time and it’s really hard to stand up to
that and say you’re judging me, it’s
really hard to go against the flow.
Absolutely, we add trauma to the trauma
when we don’t see it and we allow
women to feel that way. I was talking to
this girl today and she was saying that she
doesn’t want to take advantage of the
compensation she’s been offered. I feel
bad to do that. This is where shame
comes in and it’s so different to how a
war veteran responds.
Victims of abuse don’t see
themselves as heroes.
We know that the consequences of
childhood trauma is far worse than a
single event that happens in anybody
else’s life, someone who has not been
traumatised as a child, it is far worse
and far harder to treat and far harder
to receive treatment too.
You’ve got to look at it this way, you’re
standing under a tree and there’s all this
fruit on this tree and you’re standing next
to somebody else who is putting their
hands out and taking the fruit and
eating it and enjoying it and there’s
fruit dripping down their mouth and
they are happy and you’re not reaching
for any of that fruit, you’re not even
trying to get it because you don’t think
you deserve it. It sounds really simple
but so much of that shame stands in
the way of her reaching for things that
she deserves. There’s not anyone
stopping her at this point, it is because
she doesn’t think she’s good enough.
It’s always astounding to me how
common that is.
