CCChat April 2025.pdf - Flipbook - Page 45
1. Secure attachment style
2. Anxious Attachment Style
Adults with a secure attachment style
feel safe, stable, and more satisfied in
their close relationships. They don’t fear
being alone, but they usually enjoy close,
meaningful relationships.
People with an anxious (or ambivalent)
attachment style tend to be overly needy.
They often feel anxious and low on selfesteem and crave emotional intimacy
but worry that others don’t want to be
with them.
Having a secure attachment style doesn’t
mean someone is perfect or there won’t
be relationship problems. What it means
is that someone is likely to feel secure
enough to take responsibility for their own
mistakes and failings, and are willing to
ask for help and support when needed.
You value yourself
You are comfortable being yourself in
an intimate relationship and happy to
express your feelings, hopes, and
needs.
You’re not afraid to ask for support
and comfort from your partner, but
you don’t get too anxious when you’re
apart.
You’re happy for your partner to rely
on you for support. You’re good at
keeping your emotions in check and
finding healthy ways to handle
conflicts in a close relationship.
When things don’t go as planned in
your relationships or other areas of
your life, you bounce back quickly.
Someone with a secure attachment style
had a primary caregiver who was able to
meet their needs as an infant, were were
able to calm and soothe them when they
were upset, and made them feel safe and
secure.
The strong foundation of a secure
attachment bond would give the child a
sense of self-confidence, trust, hope, and
comfort in the face of conflict.
Someone with an anxious or ambivalent
attachment style, might feel
embarrassed about being too clingy or
constantly needing love and attention. Or
feel worn down by fear and anxiety about
whether their partner really loves them.
You want to be in a relationship and
crave the feeling of closeness and
intimacy, but struggle to feel that you
can trust or fully rely on your partner.
Being in an intimate relationship tends
to take over your life and you become
overly fixated on the other person.
You may find it difficult to observe
boundaries, viewing space between
you as a threat, something that can
provoke panic, anger, or fear that your
partner no longer wants you.
A lot of your sense of self-worth rests
on how you feel you’re being treated
in the relationship and you tend to
overreact to any perceived threats to
the relationship.
You feel anxious or jealous when away
from your partner and may use guilt,
controlling behaviour, or other
manipulative tactics to keep them
close.
You need constant reassurance and
lots of attention from your partner.
Others may criticise you for being too
needy or clingy and you may struggle
to maintain close relationships.
45
